Finding a slave

What to Look for
Where to Look

Related

Slave Advice
Master Advice
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The McDade Principles
Now Owned!

Life is not so bad  if you are in a City like London, Berlin Amsterdam etc where there is a developed Leather culture, if not then you will have to consider flexibility - moving.

If that is not bad enough there are other Problems ahead...
Have a look at "Fining a Master" this can help up understand what a slave may be looking for.

Not all slaves are Created Equal ^

As you have seen elsewhere we are all different, slave are no exception, however they often come from different back grounds where a slave is seen as weakness with the attitude of "why do you let him do that to you ?"

There can be cultural problems, where strong Macho cultures mean it is hard enough to come to terms with being Gay, let alone have a 'fag' tie you up and do all these terrible things to you.  Some subs can have a real hang-up about their slave side, with all the 'shoulds and should nots" that parents and life put into them.
Against all of this he knows deep inside that nothing else will do, and his is scared about making the first move, to timid to confront his own shadow, with thoughts like I might be too young, too much a novice etc. I for one love the slaves timidity, I find its so attractive, but on the other hand it can make for slow progress sometimes.

On the other hand if he has come from other cultures (perhaps sighting the Australians I have known), they are party animals up for anything, and will give most things a go, and tend not to have any problems telling a Master is something does not suit them.
For whatever reason, be prepared to treat them with kid-gloves, if you feel that they are worth investing time in.

What does the slave get from this anyway ?

You might be lucky and the slave self identifies himself,  you might see through his charade of being really dom, but under it all he needs a Master bad.  You can do stuff and measure how he responds, this indicated what he is underneath. See Bliss Elevation in Subspace

True Slaves:
What to look for ^

You might want to read the advice links to the side, as this will help understand where they are coming from, what their needs are and what is important to them.
It is all very simple, to YOU he is your Master (he may be a switch, and in other chemistry he is a slave), but to you you have not a shadow of doubt.

1. He may not be an obvious slave. You might need to liberate it within him. There can easily be some giveaway signs that show him to be submissive, checking they way his responds to your posturing can be an indicator.
   
2. Some guys just 'oooze 'slave' , it grabs a Master by the nuts, with a grip that is hard to imagine, and then there are the slaves in disguise, here you need to demonstrate your Master qualities and they are like pulled in and show their colours.
   
3. They do not romance the truth for effect, the do not tell you how wonderful they are, they may do some strange things because they are nervous.
   One that I have observers, the keener they are on you, the more they will run away (they cannot face perceived rejection). - As if this does not cut both ways. Never forget that we all have different tastes, all that they can say is  No.
   No can be said for all sorts of reasons, from No(I have a migraine,  you have/have not got facial hair, I just like looking, etc) ...
   No means I have saved you wasting your time, it does not mean that a chat is out of the question -- unless you are in a Sex Club and you are there for one thing only, as all that happens then is that you shy away other potentials.
   "What part of NO! don't you understand" when someone does not get the message, nothing more you can do will convince him that you are really  worth the effort.
   
4. Real slave just want to please you, they are often looking for a Master that they can trust, that will do all sorts of unspeakable things to them.  Slaves in general will put up with a load of shit, but one thing they will not put up with is a lost of trust. If they feel that you don't listen to them, show and interest in them they will have some doubts about you in other as yet undisclosed areas.
   
5. They are "Top" with or without an audience. I remember one Master was in a shop with his slave, the slave kneeling down on the floor looking at some detail of the electrical consumer goods, the Master just started gently kicking the slave about. Asked why he said "I just couldn't help myself"
   The slave knew his place so did the Master - they just happened to be in a shop in Liverpool England, like any other town in the country. What audience there was, was incidental.
   
6. It is helpful to wear some signals that identify you to your prospective Master.
   The Bandanna for example the dog chain etc (be careful of those that do it for fashion). However a good Master can see right through the bullshit and see the inner you, he just gets a feeling that this guy is really a slave or has  potential that way.
   
7. You would be dead luck to find all these qualities in a slave.

   Integrity

   Honesty to themselves, they no longer fool themselves (and so not you), they can see something for what it is.

   Reliability

   Your Master is your bed rock, he is the centre of your universe.
   When he takes on a slave, he takes on responsibilities. 

   Commitment

   Will he turn up when he says he will.
   What has he done before

   Inner Strength

   From Self Knowledge comes strength.
   This is a strange one, but there is a Presence and Confidence about a Master,
   A slave can really use this. It often helps him through some of the heavy scenes that are to follow.

   Communication

   Does this slave have the ability or willingness to communicate with you. As Masters are not mind readers you need to know when there is potentially a problem before it affects the scene.

   Maturity

   A slave needs a man has grown up and can hold his own. A slave typically wants to feel safe and secure with you. They submit because they want to - because it is in their nature, because not to submit would be to not be fully themselves - not because they lack the ability to run their own lives.

   Empathy/Clarity and Understanding

   It is said that the best Masters were once slaves themselves. So they know all the tricks you might play, they also remember all the things they used to like as a slave, so they know where you are going and how to get there. They may still switch from time to time, but not with you. One thing you can do with them is TALK, and they would understand.

   They communicate their needs and expectations of you clearly to you.

    

   Thinks about what goals they might have ?

   So what does a submissive mean when he calls himself a slave and claims that it would be impossible to elude his Master? The answer is that is in the nature of a submissive to want to feel that he could not escape from his Master even though he knows the slave could. Many slaves want&need to wear a collar and/or a brand their Master has given them, to signify that they are owned and to signify who it is who owns them.
   Other than good sex, and lots off it. They want to know that when they are done with you that they will be ok, with the option of going back to you for some more.

    

   It is said that slaves  feel free only when they are not responsible for maintaining the structure in their lives - that is why they have a Master. A submissive without an externally imposed structure must create and maintain his   own structure. He is forced to be his own dominant. She can never allow herself to fully enjoy her submissive nature because she must always be thinking as a dominant. He can never relax into a structure because he is responsible for maintaining the structure.   Are you the kind of guy that can impose order and structure to a slave life ?

    

   What else might a slave want to see ?
   Typically they are looking for the 'type' that they are into, and normally what they are wearing is an indication of what they are looking for (the like attracts like issue), you need to do something to get in their consideration for a second glance. You might think your hot, but if you are a leather bear, a Skinhead usually looks for clean shaved (skinhead) guys.

   
   

   To a large extent the Master is where the slave puts him.
   The slave want a Master real bad, and can over look many things.
   If you command no respect not a lot is going to happen.
   In being a good Master be honest to yourself and your slave, you will improve in time, you do not need to be some myth.
   Slaves have purpose in their lives just as Masters do, they each develop on their own paths.

Where to look? ^

Wanting to win the Lottery but never buying a ticket - sums up how the out come of your endeavour!
The following is pretty much the same for both slave and Master.

1. Clarify what you are looking for. If you are into Creative Visualisation, get all the characteristics solid in your imagination. Only is it is critical to you that he has a given feature would you include it, otherwise keep your options open. For example:
   • That he is going to be the 'right' slave for you. That this process knows that "right" means for you.
   • That you both are compatible for each other - you know know what you want till you have it, and you do not know what he wants, you just want him to want you.
   • That SM/Sexually you both develop ... etc etc
2. Know that there is the right slave out there for you. The are so many slaves out there looking to be Owned, looking for a Master that suits their lifestyle.
3. Some slaves run the risk of 'wanting it' so bad that they will delude themselves and project onto the other person 'perfect Master' status. This is often followed with the comment "the was really nice till he opened his mouth" (and spoke). Like a paper bag could be a Master!
   If you get real initially here is less chance of either one of you being attracted to your own projected illusion.
   
4. Be flexible, if you found him, and he was 3000 miles away, which one of you could move, if neither then add "Local slave"  in your Visualisation requirements, if not do you have a pass port?. Are you prepared to move, what about your great career here in town, can you carry that on elsewhere ?
5. Don't think that he is stupid enough to give up all he has for uncertainty, nor think of him handing over the monthly pay cheque  to save you working.
    
6. Be prepared, you never know when Opportunity is going to strike. So dress well as the slave might just have popped out to get some milk the say time you did.
   
7. Be Pro-active make things happen. It really helps if you go to places which attract the kind of person you are looking for  - leather bars, places on the Internet, adverts in the Gay press etc.
8. Dress is a way that would attract the kind of person that you are looking for, leather guys like leather guy, a Dress Suit would lower your chances  a bit.

Internet Meets

• If you look on the internet , have a good look at his profile get a feel for him, ask other people if they know of him and what he is like.
• Be careful to filter out sour grapes, that other Top might have been rejected by the slave so there might be some bad mouthing - understand what grounds there might be for colouration of the messages you get.
• When you read his profile, make sure you are not reading what you want to be there and not what is really there.
• I find the Internet very useful for finding slaves, for the interview process, you only know when you meet them.

 

You can make a start on:

• The Doghouse Adverts and join up
• You can use system like GayDar which is very successful.
• You can try MIRC.
• Check out Communities on this web site to explore these options, avoid sites that just want your money, as there are so many free ones that it is possible they just want your money and you don't get anything.

Face to Face

• If you meet him in person you can read his body language (this is missing on IRC or other Internet interactions).
• It never hurts to polish up on your NLP skills so you can read a person like a book. For the most part I can tell when a guy is lying, when he is stretching the truth, when he is pretending to be interested and when he really is interested.
• Some slaves are full of themselves. Often this can be put down to insecurity - it still remains tiresome.

 

As with a Master the same is true with a slave

As with any decision making, the best advice is to you is to use " a cool head and a warm heart", I could just say use your doggy instinct, but there are better ways to make a decision of course. So put your cock and balls on pause for a moment, and think through the possible options, the "what ifs" and their probabilities. It is rate that you are going to meet a psychopath in a leather bar (does he go there often, so do people know him - or has he just moved to this town because the Cops are after him).
What does he want you for anyway, just for your monthly pay cheque, to go with some kind or Hiram where you just get discarded. Be careful of words like Leather Family, Kennel and Stable -  These have different meanings to different people. Test what you mean by the words and what he means by them. For example I use the word 'leather family' and ' kennel' fairly interchangeably. I prefer slaves on a long term basis. However a 'kennelled slave' might also have a boyfriend of his own and just want you as his Master, many guys can partition their relationships in this way. In a leather Family, it is more likely   that the slave will not be seeing other people that just his Master.

You can ask the slave questions like:

• Have you ever been a sub before, if so how long and to what degree ?
• Assuming that he is a a Dogslave, you might also want to ask what previous experience he had as a dogslaves. If not that has he ever owned a real dog ?
• Talk you through a scene with him that he has had   -some guys ask this so that they can wank off on the internet.

• If a slave is resistant to answer such questions he may just be shy, so you will need to know if he is embarrassed, so start with gentle question to make him feel more comfortable.

Once you have looked through the options (precautions are good - tells someone), then use your 'warm heart', listen to your heart, what does your instincts tells you? The more that you listen to them the better they get.

Remember there are some great Masters out there, who are looking for a dog/slave/boy  to look after, to use and abuse you might not be the right one for this slave unless you are adaptable. It is ok to not pursue things further because you are at some level incompatible.
There is nothing wrong with rejection, it is just that there is some incompatibility, and you don't want to discover that when you have taken him how when you could have taken home a compatible slave.