Finding a Master

Wolfs Clothing
 What to Look for
Where to Look
Chance Encounters

Related
Slave Advice
Master Advice
Adverts
Joining
The McDade Principles
The Bandanna
How do I get trained?

You first have to have the population - that is, of all the Masters, you select a subset that you are attracted to, of that subset there are those with the skills that are required to train you (and are psycho cases), of that subset there are those that are eligible/available, of those there is the subset who would want to !

Life is not so bad  if you are in a City like London, Berlin Amsterdam etc where there is a developed Leather culture, if not then you will have to consider flexibility - moving.

If that is not bad enough there are other Problems ahead...

Not all Masters are Created Equal

As you have seen elsewhere we are all different, Masters are no exception, they can have weakness to. What are you prepared to tolerate from your prospective Master ?

Sheep in Wolf's clothing: Why is he a Master anyway ? ^

This one is even more unpalatable. You understand by now the differences between Tops and Masters (no way there are the same).

Sadly some people 'play' Top for the wrong reasons, typically these include:

1. To hide their own inadequacies: You will ask him what he is into, he will say "everything" and mean nothing (or nothing well). He will continue to tell you how wonderful he is, that he comes into this venue with at least 3 slaves (but your friends say they only see him alone...). This is sadly complicated within the (SM) gay community of keeping up appliances with your peers (bull shit) image, that is if all image is illusion how can you better a myth!  To you this situation may feel that it is either too good to be true (there is a reason for that), or that he is full of shit.
2. To hide their own insecurity: You can spot this one, when he needs an audience (and is disinterested when alone), typically he will be looking over his shoulder for approval from his 'peers'  - to you this may feel like he is looking for his next replacement for you when you have discovered his true colours.
3. Because they think they will have no chance if they play sub: This can be irritating for both parties. This guy can be skilled as a Master, presses all the buttons in you that would have you on your knees purring Sir to you God. The sad truth however is that he wants to be where you are. The only salvation for this guy is to have a Master of his own, is some other place that can satisfy that side of him, when that is done if he still wants to Top slaves, he can.  If not the risk is that the slave becomes disillusioned with this Master, the disappointment is horrible, when your 'God' wants you to tie him up beat and fuck him. There are many excuses that can be use "I'm your Master, you do as I say", the bitter truth is always there, you have been 'tricked' by a slave. Not intentionally, but the hurt can be the same, it is just not fair on the slave (either one). Better to start out calling it rough/perv sex, with out labels, and see what happens.
4. Because they think  that it is too low status to be a slave, and their ego cannot handle it: This is a bit like the previous example, they are doing something because they do not feel they have a choice. What they really need is a good Master to talk to them, to council them (Masters are great like that, they fix their slaves heads all the time :) If you look at  SlaveMaster's McDade Principles  he identifies just how special a slave is, how valued to a Master a slave it - Never for get it is through a slave that the Master feels so good, it is what you do for him that bliss's him out. It is a Ying/Yang thing you need each other.
5. Because they have been type-cast: You have this Six foot six (Claude Van Damn)Hunk standing before you, he was in the Army as a Military Policeman, his whole appearance is one that triggers in YOU submission to this dominant stereo-type. All your senses are telling you to drop to your knees NOW!   Sadly for this man, no one can take him seriously when he says he is a submissive, except when a Top approaches him that likes a challenge. We are so used to cute little submissives and big tall Masters.
6. His is a Master of The Old Guard, his reputation precedes him.  Be very careful when your hear such 'credentials' they can mean whatever you want them to mean. Sadly this man maybe born of Myths and Legends. This can be bad for him to, as if he as a 'poor' scene with a slave his standing will be tarnished, so it is easier to blame the slave. A Master moulds his slave for his needs, you are putty in HIS, your Master and Owners hand. If the Artist moulds crap who is at fault ?

This can all leads to disappointment, the slave deserves better.

True Masters: What to look for ^  

Well this is a tricky one, It has often been said, identifying what a Master is not, all that remains is the Master. You will find the Master that is right for you in the strangest of places and circumstances. He will not have a label saying [Master], he would be free from all the Bullshit, he just is.  It is all very simple, to YOU he is your Master (he may be a switch, and in other chemistry he is a slave), but to you you have not a shadow of doubt.

1. He may not be an obvious Master. You might need to train him (Top In Training).
2. I have found real Masters just have a 'presence' about them.
3. They do not romance the truth for effect, the do not tell you how wonderful they are (remember they are trying to convince themselves).
4. Real Masters have your best interest at heart, YOU are important to them.
5. They are "Top" with or without an audience. I remember one Master was in a shop with his slave, the slave kneeling down on the floor looking at some detail of the electrical consumer goods, the Master just started gently kicking the slave about. Asked why he said "I just couldn't help myself" The slave knew his place so did the Master - they just happened to be in a shop in Liverpool England, like any other town in the country. What audience there was, was incidental.
6. It is helpful to wear some signals that identify you to your prospective Master. The Bandanna for example  the dog chain etc. However a good Master can see right through the bullshit and see the inner you, he just gets a feeling that this guy is really a slave or has  potential that way.
7. Real Master's have a number of qualities (they still are human so have failings to). At one level it is like a Master is the slaves Manager. IT would not hurt if the Master was familiar with all the skills a Manager may employ with is employees, or that of a Dad to his Son.

   You would be dead luck to find all these qualities in a Master. However, a professional that has made it is very likely tone have these (otherwise he would not be where he is today).

   Integrity

   Honesty to themselves, they no longer fool themselves (and so not you), they can see something for what it is.

   
    

   Reliability

   Your Master is your bed rock, he is the centre of your universe, what he is not is unreliable. When he takes on a slave, he takes on responsibilities.   If he says he is going to do something, it is like it is written by Gods very own hand.

   
    

   Inner Strength

   From Self Knowledge comes strength. This is a strange one, but there is a Presence and Confidence about a Master, I mean a real Master. He is NOT PLAYING he just IS. You may not see this often in young Masters, it comes when a Master has been established in his role for some time.  This is why when you come across a Master who is only 23yo it is hard to take his SM skills and standing seriously - until you discover he was a slave at the age of 15yo to two of the heaviest Masters in the land - it is then you conclude during that time some skills must have rubbed off in that time.

   
    

   Maturity

   This man has grown up (at whatever age this occurs).

   Just as a Master hates to be a wet nurse for a slave, it is really the last straw when the slave has to take this role on for his Master.

    

   Empathy/Clarity and Understanding

   It is said that the best Masters were once slaves themselves. So they know all the tricks you might play, they also remember all the things they used to like as a slave, so they know where you are going and how to get there. They may still switch from time to time, but not with you. One thing you can do with them is TALK, and they would understand.

   They communicate their needs and expectations of you clearly to you.

   
    

   Assertiveness/Dominance, Natural Authority - sense of control

   If a man cannot control himself how can he expect to control others !!!

   The Master provides a frame work for the slave to operate in, the slave knows and expects to get punished when he deviates from these parameters. A Master worth his salt need only say No! in a firm voice  for the slave to get the message, much the same when you are talking to children or puppy training. He does not need threats, shouting or tantrums (exposure of lack of Authority or Control), an American term for this "He as Lost it..." If the subject continues not to get the message you find other means of communication to enforce the message.

   Voice

   The Australian practice of ending sentences with and upward rise is associated with a question, tentative ideas and uncertainty. This behaviour is commonly found in the English language social groups with beta males (subs) and females. Alpha males (dom) and some alpha females demonstrate their confidence in their position in the social structure by ending their sentence downwards. The more alpha (dom) or more confident they are, the more likely they are to end the sentence downwards. Within any social grouping, by listening to who is ending up and who is ending down, you can tell who are the leaders and who are the followers within that group. By changing your behaviour to match that of the leaders, you will be seen as a leader  instead of a follower - even though you maybe following their lead. You can be Machiavellian and uses there pitch references as a vocal que allowing you the opportunity to take the lead. From the search point of view, you can now identify the confident alpha males, rather than the sheep in wolfs clothing. The pitch and tenor of the voice is also a guide, clarity and projection imply confidence, the converse of that is 'hiding what you are saying so you will not be noticed' this takes the form of mumbling or or overly soft spoken. This is active is social groups and the guy could be well confident in the bedroom or in his domain. From a Masters point of view, he should work on all external qualities, as first impressions counts. I am sure we have all heard the expression, "he looked really sexy until he opened his mouth", the sexual illusion is shattered due to possible an overly camp or other wise adverse voice. A Master could do worse to develop the kind of voice that is attractive to his 'prey'.

   To a large extent the Master is when the slave puts him. The slave want a Master real bad, and can over look many things. If you command no respect not a lot is going to happen. In being a good Master be honest to yourself and your slave, you will improve in time, you do not need to be some myth. Slaves have purpose in their lives just as Masters do, they each develop on their own paths.

Where to look? ^

Wanting to win the Lottery but never buying a ticket - sums up how the out come of your endeavour! The following is pretty much the same for both slave and Master.

1. Clarify what you are looking for. If you are into Creative Visualisation, get all the characteristics solid in your imagination. Only is it is critical to you that he has a given feature would you include it, otherwise keep your options open. For example:
   • That he is a good Master to you.
   • That you both are compatible for each other - you know know what you want till you have it, and you do not know what he wants, you just want him to want you.
   • That SM/Sexually you both develop ... etc etc
2. Know that there is the right Master out there for you. You can bet that that Master is looking for you as well.
3. Be flexible, if you found him, and he was 3000 miles away, which one of you could move, if neither then add "Local Master"  in your Visualisation   requirements, if not do you have a pass port?. Are you prepared to move, what about your great career here in town, can you carry that on elsewhere ?
4. Be prepared, you never know when Opportunity is going to strike.
5. Be Pro-active make things happen. It really helps if you go to places which attract the kind of person you are looking for  - leather bars, places on the Internet, adverts in the Gay press etc.
6. Look the part - Dress is a way that would attract the kind of person that you are looking for, leather guys like leather guy, a Dress Suit would lower your chances  a bit.

Internet Meets

• If you look on the internet , have a good look at his profile get a feel for him, ask other people if they know of him and what he is like.
• Be careful to filter out sour grapes, that slave might have been rejected so there might be some bad mouthing.
• When you read his profile, make sure you are not reading what you want to be there and not what is really there.

  You can make a start on:

  • The Doghouse Adverts and join up
  • You can use system like GayDar which is very successful.
  • You can try MIRC.
  • Check out Communities on this web site to explore these options, avoid sites that just want your money, as there are so many free ones that it is possible they just want your money and you don't get anything.

Face to Face

• If you meet him in person you can read his body language (this is missing on IRC or other Internet interactions).
• It never hurts to polish up on your NLP skills so you can read a person like a book. For the most part I can tell when a guy is lying, when he is stretching the truth, when he is pretending to be interested and when he really is interested.
• Watch out about titles. I don't know of any Masters that normally refer to themselves as Master/Sir, of course their slaves may well call them that. Sometimes its is a habit, but it so often feels like "I am a Master honest" versa a slave just senses it  in you. The reason for these "Grand Master" titles is the level of their egos, and with big egos is the belief that they are always right and incapable of making a mistake; when its your life in their hands that is not a good character trite. This is sort of sad, as arrogant (skinhead) Tops are so horny. There is a way to see the difference between arrogance and ego. The  egotist is so inward looking, and the arrogant is more about posturing and image projections. The two people are likely to have their conversations focused on two quite different areas of conversation (assuming the egoist would even talk to you).
• This is less easy at the end of a keyboard and a bit better on the phone. Face to Face is what you need.

As with any decision making, the best advice is to you is to use " a cool head and a warm heart", I could just say use your doggy instinct, but there are better ways to make a decision of course. So put your cock and balls on pause for a moment, and think through the possible options, the "what ifs" and their probabilities. It is rate that you are going to meet a psychopath in a leather bar (does he go there often, so do people know him - or has he just moved to this town because the Cops are after him). What does he want you for anyway, just for your monthly pay cheque, to go with some kind or Hiram where you just get discarded. Be careful of words like Leather Family, Kennel and Stable -  These have different meanings to different people. Test what you mean by the words and what he means by them. For example I use the word 'leather family' and ' kennel' fairly interchangeably. I prefer slaves on a long term basis. However a 'kennelled slave' might also have a boyfriend of his own and just want you as his Master, many guys can partition their relationships in this way. In a leather Family, it is more likely   that the slave will not be seeing other people that just his Master.

You can ask him questions like:

• Have you ever been a sub before, if he has he can empathize with what you will be going through.  It sort of works like his is taking the same journey with you, he knows where you might have problems and to prepare you for them. If he gives you the "I am the ultimate Top, I never bottom" then he would have no experience of this journey, and might only be relying on what his slaves have told him. It is a commonly held belief that to be a good Master you need to have had your training as a slave. You might want to explore how he learnt to Top. If you get that he was taught by another Master, then check that story out.
• Assuming that you are a Dogslave, you might also want to ask what previous experience he had with dogslaves. If not that has he ever owned a real dog, how did he treat that, what did he like most about his dog, what did he like least. Was he a good dog owner, did he groom his dog, did he take him for walkies ? If not, what leads him to believe that he would make a good dog slave owner. For my part, dogs were always a part of my life as a kid. As an adult I did not have time for them, until I had my first dog slave, then I found that I would naturally play (pet etc) a real dog just like I did my slave.

• If a top is resistant to answer such questions (or you are just too below him, this is a good sign as to ditch him, he will not be listening you you when you are tied up later either). One of the best thing between Master and slave is rapport, and such a top as this has none.

Once you have looked through the options (precautions are good - tells someone), then use your 'warm heart', listen to your heart, what does your instincts tells you? The more that you listen to them the better they get.

Remember there are some great Masters out there, who are looking for a dog/slave/boy  to look after, to use and abuse, to train to perfection. There are not that many 'Bad ones' there are plenty that are for whatever reason, not suitable for you.  Always remember and believe that in the end you will find the right Master for you. Don't ever forget that Masters have the same search to a slave   that is right for them.

This was a comment from one of my pups...

Hi MASTER,
just getting back to you i have two new people to play with in the last week, the first one being a guy who lives out in the suburbs right next to a jail.

He is about 50 years old and really fat, we got off to a shaky start he was pushing all the wrong buttons and on top off that it takes me a while to trust somebody but we workout half way through what I liked and dislike ,then i started having fun.

He lead me in on all fours, wearing a harness, hood, blindfold, collar into the a room where he tied me spread-eagle to the bed then he hung a 2 litre bottle of water on my balls covered me in clothes pegs, and then attached a vacuum pump thing to my cock, which felt amazing.

Then he got the wax out and proceeded to wax my tits, pull off and reattach clothes pegs. Then he untied my legs and tied them up to the back of the bed so my arse was fully exposed and inserted a pump up butt plug, he pumped that good and hard and attached a industrial face mask soaked in poppers which really got me going.

i think i will see this guy again. That was last week and on Tuesday i played with a guy 33 a bit shorter than me not into role play at all, just into very intense bondage he put me through several positions throughout the evening, very uncomfortable positions with different methods of torment and teasing, hardly got a hard-on because everything we did was right on my limits for what I could take.

It was just a amazing evening and by fuck i have been so sore the last few days recovering from that one, i think i will see this guy again. Found out about him when i was in England actually so waited quite a while to have a play when back in  Auz and boy it was worth it.
Anyway the weekend has just began so i have got to have some more fun.
Talk to you soon, Sir

Your masked gagged animal Pup