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SM: AN INTRODUCTION
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Advice to a slave
Advice to a Master
Dear Dog house,
I'm a novice slave, and I would like advice on how to write a good letter to a Master when applying to an ad in personals, what should I say and what would the master like to read etc.
Thank you Sir
This was one email that I had, and it is not untypical
|Some advice to a slave ^|
But in general - be honest.
Tell him what you are looking for, what you actually HAVE done, and what you
might like to do, and things that you are no sure about.
I had one slave that said that CP was a taboo area for him, and now he comes crawling to be to be beaten.
A slave has basic limits, to be kept safe, free from mental or physical harm.
A bruise here and their does not count, unless it has a risk to his position, or to his boyfriend.
When you write to your prospective Master use all the "Sirs" you can being good and respectful.
A true slave will never use "I" only "i", a real Master will notice this.
You need to know about yourself how much of a slave are you ?
Do you just want some part time fun or to be Owned.
Is slavery important, you love feeling a slave every moment you breathe,
or after you have come it is of no importance ?
Also you need 'sell your self', think back when you went for a position interview first impressions count,
so present yourself well. A good picture of you, in the right gear (know your audience) a leather pic for a leather Master, a skinhead pic for a SkinMaster), or "this is me" I am a rubber slave no good pretending something I am not. In your letter writing, it is worth capturing the imagination of your audience, therefore it would be good to talk through a sample scene, what you loved about it. Write with Master in mind, you have to press his buttons, that is something that you liked about him from the advert, relate to that. You want him to think "this is the right slave for me", you have to talk about the common ground between you both. No good talking just about fisting if he is not into that, and he would never know that you both are ideally matched in some other area.
I would also suggest that you look after your body, your appearance to that you are well turned out, just as a Master should. We all go by appearances, they count, people make snap judgements (just as I have), try to hedge your bets - or at least make bad point 'neutral'. It is all VERY EASY to say go to the gym, don't let yourself go, but we are all products in the meat market. If there are two Masters both equally skilled, the one with the good body wins. Cruel and superficial - but that's life.
|Some advice to a Master ^|
Well much the same goes for a Master as above. You do start from a different benefit. The slave has high aspirations of you. You are going to be the right Master for him (better than the last disappointments), you are a God. He will be projecting all his hopes and aspirations on you. It is possible to just stay quiet and 'get away with it'. You have heard the comments in the clubs about "Oh he looked so horny until he opened his mouth". So a Master can often 'fuck up' by dashing the slaves hopes one by one by his mistakes. You have to appear as professional as possible, in control, and appeal to the aspiration of the slave. Likewise if he is not what you are looking for do not string him along with false hopes. We are all different. I was rejected once by a slave cos I was not 'ugly enough' pissed me off I can tell you, it took a while to sink in. Likewise Skinheads in general dislike facial hair - so they would often be 'repulsed' by a guy with a tache or a goatee.
There is no use pretending that you like someone, your dick wont lie even if you do. Some tops just get off on abuse/sexual violence and it matters less who their subject is versa just doing the deed. One guy lust loved frying a submissives balls with electricity and he force shit down his throat - he got off on showing how hard a top he was, that this was the price that had to be paid for his attention. This was a 'real Skin' that hated what he considered 'plastic skins' ie all very respectable in the week at the bank and just dressing up at the weekend - it sort of devalued what he was I guess. His biggest kick as to 'blow the minds' of the sub, sort of making the slave re-examine if he should be into SM at all. I guess from another prospective it was like common assault?
In my opinion slaves are very special creatures, without them you cannot have the sex you like. Treat them well and they will give your all to you.
As in all relationship you have to have enough in common for it to work for you both.
Also be aware that the slave is going to feel real nervous - so you need to address that. He might want an 'experience' from the interview, to have it feel like an interrogation (puppies tend not to), so you need to use your experience to determine what is appropriate for this interview, what format it will take. We all have our different ways, whatever you do take it seriously, and remember poor preparation gives a poor performance, worst still is your reputation, that slave is going to tell another 8 slaves that you are crap, one of which was ideal for you.
|HOW TO CONSTRUCT AN INTERVIEW|
|There are six basic steps to enable you to structure an effective and thorough interview:|
Questions and Answers
1. PREPARATION - BEFORE THE INTERVIEW
As any professional sales person knows, the preparation before a meeting with a prospective buyer (this case, with a prospective Master) is an essential requirement. Preparation paves the way for the performance possible from a slave. You can prepare for an interview by following three basic steps:
(a) Research this Master (or slave) thoroughly by whatever means possible.
Suggested methods are through the prospective Master himself, take to him, or those that know of him, if he as a web site look at that what makes him tick, what are his passions what is important to him?
You must try to create as clear a picture as possible about the Master that you are approaching, what makes him tick, what he is into before applying. Not only will this enable you to more fully participate in the interview with your prospective Master, but, if nothing else, it will help you to decide whether you are interested in this Master or not.
(b) Prepare a list of questions you would like to ask the prospective Master.
During the interview you are under pressure trying hard to please and to impress. Quite frequently this has a counter-productive result. What generally happens is that your mind goes blank and you remember all the questions that you want to ask as you are about to leave the interview or, indeed, after you have left.
The reason you need the questions is to ensure that by the time you have left the interview, you understand as much about the position, your role with this Master as a prospective Master has found out about you. This should equip you to make an objective decision at the end of the interview session.
It also prevents those awful pregnant pauses when the Master says "and do you have any questions boy?" and you cannot answer.
An interview should be a two-way process.
(c)Prepare a list of your selling benefits.
In order to do this, ask yourself one basic question - "Why should that Master offer me the position of his Slave/dogslave/boy ?", then write down all the reasons.
If you have been thorough in your questioning of the prospective Master then you will have a good idea of what he is looking for. You can then match your own capabilities, experience and ambitions against his criteria.
- "i am into all the things that you say that your are into Sir"
- "i am a novice slave so that you can mould me as he wishes"
- "i am an experienced slave that can perform to your requirements, without any additional training."
- "Although i do not have the full experience that you are looking for Sir, i most certainly have enthusiasm and the determination to succeed, together with a willingness to work hard in order to achieve all that your require of me Sir.."
When listing out your selling benefits also bear in mind if you have what we call in the trade a 'glory file', i.e. any written documentation or league tables or memos from previous Master/playmatesthat say "what a wonderful guy you are and how well you undertook you duties" - make sure that you take that with you. It saves a lot of unnecessary time in the question and answer session and proves you can do what you say. Written documentation actually proves this and enables you to move to a more constructive area in the interview.
Having completed these three basic steps of preparation, at least you are going to your interview with confidence, knowing that you are as fully equipped as you possibly can be to participate in the interview. Make no mistake - your prospective Master will be impressed that at least you have tried and, if you try half as hard with this preparation for an interview with HIM, then you will be creating the right image and impression that the rest of your service to him will equally be of a high standard.
2. STRUCTURE OF INTERVIEW
First Impressions Count
It is imperative that you create the right first impression. No matter how well trained or experienced the Master it has been proved that "subjectivity rules". People often form an opinion of you, and decide whether to offer the position to you, within the first four minutes of your interview.
Its formed as they scan your apprearnce up and down (the first 20 seconds - this may even be an unconcious act), then as they engage with you.
Perhaps the following guidelines will help.
- GOLDEN RULE - ARRIVE ON TIME or preferably early.
For some Masters they might like a call from your Mobile to say that they will be there in 10 mins or whatever. In my case if they are coming by train, I expect them to tell me that they got on a given train, telling me their arrival time. If they come by car when there are at some designated landmark I get them to stop and give me a call -this allows them to check the final directions and me to ensure that everything is as expected. If we are meeting on neutral ground (pub) I ensure that I know what he will be wearing and he knows where I will be. The worst case is waiting outside a bar or cafe waiting a hour or so when you are inface a few feet appart.
- In most cases you will have to complete an application form, Master like to use these as it stimulates thoughts (versa "Im into everything") and it can put things explicitly - you cross something out, then it is quite clear to him, you are not into "Blood and Scat".
- Always take your "slaves CV" with you as it helps prevent having to sit there scratching your head trying to remember stuff.
- Appearance - clean, smart and unfussy. This applies if you are a leather slave or a skinhead - you have to look your best. Try an wear 'fetish' gear that he is into, or that he has chosen you for. You dont need to overstate something, but what would a typical slave wear ? Make sure your boots are well cleaned. Clean 501s (unless he is expecting a pig), or leather jeans etc. Think about your gear that you wear, will it still look good after all that traveling to see him, what happened if you bump into some friend on the way there.
If you look good, you will feel confident too - look in the mirror, you fancy that guy that you see there, is everything perfect?
- When you meet your prospective Master try and introduce yourself first if at all possible; it slightly gives you the upper-hand.
"Hello Sir, I'm Joe", and good eye contact or do as the pre-agreement requested, like kneeling down and waiting permission to stand
- Look the Master in the eyes as there is nothing worse than having a shifty expression and not being able to look at him - it destroys credibility!
However, Masters also get off on seeing a 'shyness' in the eyes of slaves, for me I find it so very horny.
- Make NO complaints about "traffic jams", "the previous appointment that dragged on" or anything else.
A fresh, strong, positive approach is best.
- Do not smoke in your interview interview, even if they do or offer.
3. QUESTIONS and ANSWERS
- This part of the interview is purely to enable your Master to find out exactly what he wants to know about you, i.e. are you the right man to be his slave?
It should also be used from your point of view to try and find out as much as you can about the what life would be like as his slave.
Now you are in the hot seat and this is where the list of questions, you previously prepared, will prove to be invaluable.
(a) Think of the 'question/answer game' as being, every time the Master asks you a question and you give a good response, you get a plus point. Every time he gets a negative response, you get a minus point. The more plus points you get, the closer you are to getting to be his slave.
- Try to turn your negative points into positive. For example, if he says "Well you have never developed using these languages before" your response should be "No, I haven't but there is no reason why I can't. I couldn't use the tools I am using now until I joined my present company. I learned about it and I am now selling it very successfully"
What you have done in that instance is change the negative point of not being able to use his languages into a positive one in his mind, i.e. no reason why he shouldn't train you to use his equipment too.
(b) Listen to the questions carefully.
- If possible try and work out why the Master is asking you the question. For example, "You've not been a slave to very many Masters, and not one for more than a month at a time". Is he actually trying to find out whether you are the sort of person who keeps changing Master very rapidly before having had a chance to prove yourself, is no Master good enough, do you like to paly around and unable to commit. Perhaps he wants confirmation that, if he took you on that you would not leave him in an equally short time for some greener grass?
- (c) Answer the questions specifically and without waffling.
- Once you have answered his question, if he wants more information, he will ask for it. When he asks you a question like "What exactly do you do in your current company?" he does not want to hear "Well, I was born at a very early age...." and half an hour later he has your whole life story, but not the answer to his question. Too much detail is boring!
- (d) Be honest with him - if you can't do something, there is no point in telling him that you can.
- (e) NEVER answer with 'I don't know'.
- If in doubt, ask to think about it and ask if you can get back to him later - on the other hand it is ok to be honest and tell him, he might have framed the question badly for you.
- (f) Although you are bound to read in most advertisements that 'experience would be desirable', ENTHUSIASM also counts for a lot in an interview.
- If you are enthusiastic, willing to learn and, above all, willing to work hard, those messages must come across in your interview. This should satisfy the man that you are the type of person he would like to have within his company and within his team.
- (g) If you don't understand the question then ask him - you dont want to sign up to something that you miss undersood.
- (h) Remember, not all Masters are trained to interview.
- It is as much your responsibility to make sure that he has enough correct information about you, as it is his responsibility to extract from you that information that he requires.
- (i) NEVER BE NEGATIVE ABOUT YOUR CURRENT position -
- SELL THE POSITIVE POINTS ABOUT THE NEW ONE - just saying you need an owner - regardless is not really good enough, will any do?
- (j) Try to show some positive factors about your personality. Smile, be friendly, approachange, 'professional'..
- (k) Stress that the this position is important to you because you intend to stay with this Master for quite some time.
- (l) Never give the impression you are on too many interviews, only a select few
- No Master would respond well thinking that they are on some kind on conveyor belt being sampled, tasted, delected or discarded like some comodity, or to feel that they are number two, the next available choice as all the other Masters rejected you.
- (m) Tell them when you are next available for any further interviews, or can start your training/slavery.
- (n) If you cannot start your slave training with him for some time, give him a time when you think you will be free.
- (o) Take any good references you may have with you. This saves time and leaves a good impression - you are prepared and serious and not just "Window Shopping".
- (p) Lastly, ask if there is anything that you think of after the interview, can you get back to him?
- (q) At the end of the interview, do ask some questions, even if they have covered everything, at least go over some points already discussed.
(r) Dont over talk. You might be nervous and hog all the air time - wait till he asks you a question. If his eyes breaks contact with you, then shut the fuck up.
SUGGESTED QUESTIONS TO ASK AT INTERVIEW
- How many slaves do you have?
- You you like to lend your slaves out to other Masters.
- Do you have a play room?
- What equipment do you like to use. Be careful about asking such questions online as that sound a bit like 'talk dirty to me as I have a wank'.
- Why do people enjoy being your slave, what do you think you give them that other Masters do not.
- I guess you get many slaves wanting you to be their Master, whats interested you in me ?
- Give me an understanding of the skill necessary to please you? How would I know if I was the right sort of slave for you.
- What sort of the training do you give?
- How long does training take and what does it involve?
- How realistic is my development with you - am I made of the "right stuff"?
- Why has this vacancy for a slave arisen?
[ie what happened to the last one, has he recovered? Can you not hold on to a slave, are you infact a useless Master, and once a slave sees you they all leave. Are you in fact a slave fooling yourself as a Master. Have you any idea of the responciblities as a Master. As a slave would I be too much of a novice that I would bore your stupide - am I as good as Vanilla ? Or as a slave do I know more in my little finger than you will ever know, and so it is better for me to have a Master that is a better match as I dont intent to have to train the Master]
- How much time are you prepared to invest in this slave? [I know you have good intentions, but how much will I see of you, will it be like seeing a stranger each time or at the other end will I see so much of you we become too much like best mates and less like Master and slave]
- When can I start Sir?
You should be able to identify when enough information has been exchanged between you and the prospective Master. As soon as you feel this has been achieved, you are probably then ready to go into the next stage of the interview.
Having extracted from your prospective Master exactly what he is looking for, i.e. the criteria that he is interviewing against, you then need to summarise your experience against that criteria.
"From what you have told me Sir, i understand that what you are looking for is somebody xxx. You want a bright, energetic young person who can service your needs and be a enthusiastic slave. I realise that you demand a lot of from your slave but, there again, you reward him well would be a good Master to him".
REMEMBER YOUR SELLING BENEFITS LIST! Use this to summarise your SM experience against his requirements. Tell him what you would be a good slave for him, why you are worthy of his attention, his time, his commitment, that his is not making a mistake in choosing you.
The last, but most important part of your interview structure is 'The Close'. A trap that a lot of people fall into is that they assume the prospective Master understands that they can 'close'. Please do not assume anything! You have to be able to demonstrate that you can 'close'. In this case it is asking for the position.
- what committees do you attend and what is your role?
- how do you motivate your slaves?
"Sir, are you in a position to make a decision today about me?"
"Sir, do you want to see me again?"
Listen to his response - is he in such a position? Do you have a second interview? Does he still have other people to consider.
Set yourself one of three objectives to achieve:-
- Obtain from him a commitment on the time and date when he can give you a decision. Don't be fobbed off with "Thanks for coming to the interview - we'll let you know". Respond with "By when will you have made a decision?"
Obtain a commitment on a second interview time and date if that is necessary.
- If he says that he still has other people to see, ask him when his last appointment is. If it is, say, Friday, respond with something like "So if I call you at 11 o'clock Saturday, you will be able to give me a decision?"
- If he says, "Yes, alright, but we would rather call you", show some enthusiasm. "Sir, I you are a very busy man. I know that you are eager to get the right slave, but you also have a lot of other priorities too. As far as I am concerned, my main priority is being being your slave, so it is going to be uppermost in my mind and I most certainly won't forget to ring you" - and don't forget!!
What you have done is actually assumed that you have got a second interview but, with any luck, you will take him with you on the assumption.
Lastly, and most importantly, if a decision can be made there and then as to whether you have got the position. "When can I start Sir?"At the end of the interview, you need to make a judhement as to how well it went. You might kneel down and lick his boots (notice his reaction), or woof, or lick. This is the quivilant of a 'firm hand shake with a prospactive employer if you were going for a job. It is like sealing your intentions.
If keen let them know you want the position, or would more than seriously consider it.
Thank him for their his and taking the trouble to explain to you what he wants.
If you follow these simple but basic rules, you should leave your interview feeling that you have done a good job. Also you should be armed with some sort of commitment, certainly knowing exactly what the next stage will be and where you stand.
If you have done a really good position, you will be receiving an offer letter in your hand, have a smile on your face and be heading for the nearest pub to celebrate your new appointment.
Keep to the arrangements you have agreed with the prospective Master. If you promised to ring him at 18:00h Monday evening - then DO IT at the time you promised! Your word is your bond, even if his is not.
Regular and efficient follow-up shows enthusiasm and reliability - do not spoil your chances at this final post by irritating the prospective Master with too many unnecessary calls. Assume the best, show interest - and if he is not the right Master for you another one will be, or he might recomend you to one of his friends.
HELPFUL HINTS ON COMPLETING AN APPLICATION FORM
- Remember this is your marketing document - a brochure on you. You are SELLING yourself.
It is your first introduction to the prospective Master and will create the first impression of you. Surely it is worth some effort? This will determine whether you will progress to the next stage, i.e. the interview.
Some slaves have such a document completed on their web site, just like a regular CV/resume.
It may be helpful to take a copy of the form and complete the copy in pencil first ... to enable you to complete the original form correctly without making alterations.
- Answers the questions specifically.
- Use neat clear handwriting, using ink never pencil.
- Don't leave spaces on the application form.
Why shouldn't you answer all the questions? If you omit to answer, this will automatically make your prospective Master suspicious.
- It is very obvious when a slave has made an effort to complete and present a form fully and effectively.
Likewise it is very apparent where no effort has been made at all.
- "See web site" is a very irritating comment to see on a form - when you have many forms to read. It is obviously easier to get through a large number of applications if they are in a consistent format - so please be co-operative and complete the application form even if you have already made considerable effort on your slaves CV. Put yourself in his shoes, and try to understand from his point of view. This might be hard for some slaves that are so submissive that have no TOP in them anywhere. But try to make it easy for him to choose you and to feel good about it.
- "To be discussed" is another irritating comment to read on an application form.
- Please be sure that you provide a full enough explanation on your current position, your ablities for the reader to fully understand your capabilities and knowledge.
- Don't forget to list your achievements in each aspect.
Whats the longest session you have had? What the longest you have endured bondage? Whats the hardes beating you have had? On each aspect of SM try and have some kind of measure that is not subjective. Like HEAVY SM is releative, to whom, to 'Miss Marples' or to 'the Marquis De Sade', what do you thing saying "I am into everything" means ? All prospective Masters will want to assess how good you were in each aspect.
Consider some of the following aspects:
B&D(Bondage and Domination),SM(Sadomasochism), CP (Corporal Punishment/Whips/paddles), Submission, Cages, Hoods, Muzzles, VA(Verbal Abuse), Edge(Edge Play), Humiliation, Exhibitionism, CBT(Cock and Ball Torture), TT(Tit Torture/play), Fucking, WS(Water Sports/Piss),SD (Sensory Depravation), G&Bf(Gags and Blindfolds), FF(Fist Fucking), Physical Abuse/Sexual Violence, Dog Bowls, Dog play, Petting, Shaving, Chastity, CD (Compulsory Dress as skinhead,biker, scum etc), Total Control, Mind Control, Enforcement(Chastity, lock in Butt-Plugs, Compulsory Dress),Toys(Dildoes, Butt-plugs etc), Forced Feeding, Filth/Scat, Sweat(socks/pits/butts/bodies), Piercing, Suspension,Collars, Mummification...
So when someone asks if you are into Scat/WS does that mean smearing/covering or being made to eat/drink it.
Does Electro mean - pleasure or pain?
What do YOU actually mean by torture?
What do you mean by Piercings, you like my PA or you want to give me another one when I am tied up?
What do you mean by CP hand spanking or to blood?
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