Self realisation of my becoming a Pupslave
Dear all Sirs at the Doghouse,
This is my realisation of my becoming a Pupslave inside. I knew I was different from the word go, and had always fantasised about being the one who got tied up in games, and even wanted to be flogged at one point when I was 8.
I was picked on quite badly up until I was 13 or so, at the time I was gradually realising my sexuality. I knew I was a raving homosexual, but still something was missing. I carried on regardless, looking up porno on the net until I found sites on Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism, and the idea of submitting to an older, stronger, more experienced Man started to pop into my fantasies, first in the form of Military sex, being ploughed by my Commanding Officer as punishment, being made into the barracks sex slave.
I began to experiment with auto-bondage at 14, and even though it made me hotter than anything ever had, I felt dirty. Despite this, I started to integrate leather gloves into my daywear, despite the ‘bondage boy’ insults that flew around. Most of my friends were fine about my homosexuality, but I’d never dream of telling them I was a Dog slave, or into bondage, or anything like that.
My first sexual experience (other than my auto-bondage fantasies) was with a fantastic man who I am meeting again soon. He wore a Satan mask and breathed heavily, which totally got me hard from the word go, and He plugged me, and I sucked His cock, and lap danced for Him, whilst violently snogging each other. He put me on a leash, in a really hot leather collar and He walked me round His house.
Afterwards, we went back to His throne, and I rimmed Him and He wanted me to plug Him so I did. He also wanted me to fuck Him, but I pretended not to be able to get it in Him, because I thought it not my place (though there was the dilemma of obeying or whether I was worthy). He decided I should fuck His hand instead, and put a condom on my dick, and I fucked his hand after he sucked on my dick for a while. That was my only problem with Him, that He was not aggressive enough, He kept giving to me, when He should have been taking for Himself. After I came, He made me eat it, and then I freaked out, as I often do when I cum, and made excuses to leave.
We have arranged another meet, and before I get into my slave personality, Rufus, I have said to Him to be more aggressive, and not consider what I want, as in the Master/slave dynamic, the slave wants what the Master wants. He is going to remove all my body hair and tie me up, to torment me when He makes me cum and freak out. I am to indulge any fantasy of His devising, no matter how perverse, or I will be severely beaten with an implement of His choice. I am hoping that with His help, I can fully accept my Pupslave side, and make regular visits.
At university, I plan to find a Master nearby who I can live with and serve 24/7 bar when I am in classes. My eventual aim is to find the perfect Master to devote to entirely, and still go to work, to earn money for Him. I also hope there are other slaves, both higher and lower in the ‘food chain’ so I can learn from them how to best please Him.