Hi pup,

The sex drive is a snag. As hypnosis will help you do what you want to do anyway - but you have to want it. I had given up on sex all together since xmas - just could not be bothers as everyone was a dissapointment or I would pre-empt failure. Then by chance I confimed a meet with a rubber guy after a lot of nagging/pressure from my BF. This rubber guy as into light shit and wanted a mutual sessions (well more him until I saw his cute butt). He is now my pig and tho he was not into SM he is big time and I am his Master. I am pushing thru all his obsructions and some of mine - he is also very active and wants to fuck his Master (bit unconventional, worst still he is a big lad so will meed pain killers:)
Therefore the *right* person has got back my sex drive as I think about abusing him all the time and spending a fortune is SMS messages.
You wont have a sex drive unless you have a focus - once could be fabricated.
I would suggest that your sex life has been nulled because of the sex club you run - same as programmers/builders dont do it at home cos its 'just work' its not fun or special. You have to define something that is special. It might be that you find a man that makes you feel good when you train him or when you server him.

self-hypnosis can be fine for pain control and its metomorphosis.
For me I was doing it before I knew what I was doing. I developed this when I was into Karate and Aikido sort of talking to the different bits of my body. Hypnosis is normally about taking on a story and getting so wrapped up in it - people with good imaginations are easy to hypnotise and the both the subject and the person inducting the subject both go on the same hypnosis journey.

So one can step away from the body and observe (the pain). Some suggest its like watching a TV drama (911, londons burning etc), the whole things changes when you turn the sound off or replace it with 'the sound of music' sound track.
You alter the perspective.

As for the role.
From my meditations (Im buddhist) one of the techniques we use is once we got to a given state we can 'book mark' it and return to where we left off last time be remembering that state. The same can be so about top/bottom. you remember what it is you like about those roles, where you got to last time (with your fav guy maybe).
For many people the role of top or bottom is how you react to those buttons being pushed in you. You can learn reactions etc. You can simulate the buttons being pushed (like a starter motor to an engine before it is running).

So I would suggest that you do some mediations/visualizations of one role, and saturate it in all the colour and viberancey you can. Make it good and enjoy what you love about that role. You need only recal that to be there.

For me, my slaves need only look at me in a certain way and I am in that role.
I have not been sub for a long time but if I wanted to invest in that role with someone I could.

As for the phobia, hypnosis is great for that.
You experince your phobia in a safe place and make it boring (like what has happened with your sex drive and the dungeon). The phobia is that you have just given undue importance to "heights/fallling" with in a context.

So a schedule I would suggest is
that you go to a hypnotist for the phobia. Ask about helping you with self hypnosis (so you can apply it to other things which you wont discus with him).
You also do your mediations/visualizations going deeper with what you have gained at the hypnotist.
Also when you go into a role, I suggest you get yourself a 'talisman' eg also be sub 'when you mean it' when you have your collar locked on. You are alsway top when you have that off and you wear something else - and stick to it.

For me I am more a pig pervert when in rubber and more of a sadist when in leather. When in full leather (like armour) I am very top in an extream way.
Hope that helps
Doug


<<you pretty much hit the nail on the head.

I want to be able to be an assertive, respective,dominant top except for the lack of a sex drive. I haven't got a sex life anymore because I haven't gotthe drive.

And the same goes for my bottom side except in the opposite way (of course!). I want to be a sleazy dirty little something (whatever mood I am in).
I want to make sure that I can call each up as and when it is needed, for a certain length of time. I hope you know where I am coming from on this.

I'd also like to know if Hypnosis can be used to help me raise my pain threshold. Because at the moment it's pretty selective.

I also want to get over a phobia of heights/fallling. Apparently when I was 3 years old I managed to climb, scaffolding that was attached to our house and my grandad had to fetch me down. But then when I was 7 I was on holiday at a caravan site, I was in the playground area and they had a really big slide. (I think it was 10ft high). Welll I fell off the top and landed face first on the ground.
Anyway I've blabbered on enough now.
The whole reason for me doing this now, is because I'm 29 soon and feeling that I am getting left behind.>>